By Ronald N. Guy Jr.
What in the world?
On 2 January, recluse Dan Snyder either crawled out of his dark, subterranean
hole and into the light of day or begrudgingly descended from his insulated ivory
tower into the realm of peons – choose your perspective – to announce the
hiring of Ron Rivera as Washington’s new head football coach. The socially accomplished and endlessly
lovable Snyder started the press conference by offering everyone a “Happy
Thanksgiving”.
Happy what?
Theories on the bizarre reference? Snyder loves Thanksgiving – turkey, stuffing,
yams, cranberries, etc. – and fixates on it frequently. This is understandable. Another angle: He meant “Happy New Year” and
the Thanksgiving mention was an honest error by a guy whose modest public
speaking skills have further atrophied after years of strategic seclusion. That’s probably the real answer. But my preferred theory? Snyder mixed up the NFL’s annual “Black
Monday” – the day after the regular season ends when numerous coaches and front
office executives are fired – with “Black Friday” and “Cyber Monday”, milestones
synonymous with Thanksgiving.
Whatever the reason for the infamous Snyder-ism and
awkward start to the Rivera era, the turn of the calendar always brings massive
change in the NFL. Washington is just
one of this year’s NFL towns where unsuccessful regimes are getting whacked and
change is creating uncertainty, excitement and hope. Officially, NFL stands for National Football
League; unofficially, the acronym is sarcastically referred to as “Not For
Long”, a well-earned adaptation that perpetually looms over executives, coaches
and players.
But the NFL, with its non-guaranteed contracts and structure
supportive of quick turnarounds, is just the best example of sports’ transience. Truth is, all professional sports teams
ruthlessly cycle through players and coaches like mad chemists in some frenetic
search for the magic (winning) formula. Down
a level or two, eligibility limitations create recurring instability for college
and high school teams. Similarly, age
constraints make any experience in youth sports short-lived. It all comes and goes so quickly.
While that evidence concerning the rapid cycling of
the sports world and athletic endeavors is factual, it is also metaphorical; I
trust the faithful, veteran readers of bleacher views didn’t miss broader
reference to the pace and fluidity of, well, everything. And with that, we have reached the The Great
Crescendo - the part when President Barack Obama, Ferris Bueller and a plastic
bag meet in a sports article…
A convergence so odd it must be an introduction to a
joke? Maybe, but for now it will stitch
this meandering story together. First
up, Bueller: Our favorite hooky, warned long ago that “Life moves pretty fast…if
you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” President Obama, broached despair with this: “The
best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for
good things to happen to you.” Lastly,
the plastic bag is from the movie “American Beauty”. In a poignant scene, characters Ricky and
Jane watch a video of an ordinary plastic shopping bag swirling in the
wind. It remained airborne, whipping
right and left, and up and down, depending on nature’s whim. The bag appeared to dance to some magical, unpredictable
and silent, but completely enrapturing beat.
Which is to say what about the speed of life? Well, a few things. That we all can and should occasionally press
pause to absorb the fabulous madness (Bueller).
That when the relentless pace threatens or derails progress, we must
find the internal energy to move forward, to persevere, even if the direction
is unsure and the destination unknown (Obama).
And finally, that we are all tossing in the wind – operating with an
uncomfortable (and unacknowledged?) lack of control – but that there are
benevolent forces in the world to guide and that sometimes life’s most
beautiful aspects are found in its perpetual motion and unpredictability
(plastic bag).
I’ll now look forward to President Obama’s feedback
that a commander in chief has never been so honored by an association with a
disobedient high schooler and a plastic bag.
What? He’s an avid reader. There’s a chance he reads “The County Times”.
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